Life With Carol

What to do if Your Man Does not give you Attention

The beginning of any relationship is always the best when we both feel so strongly about each other. We fall in love, we get comfortable with each other, and we start taking our partner for granted. As a result, our partner stops paying attention to us. In this blog, we talk about what you can do if your man does not give you attention.

To be honest, if my man stops paying attention to me, the first thought that gets to my mind is the possibility that he could be seeing someone else, even though that may not always be the case. I have compiled ten points about the things that you can do to hopefully get your man’s attention.

Communicate

If your man does not give you attention, try to communicate and ask him what he wants. Request a dinner out, and when you are both calm and comfortable, have a conversation with him. Ask him if there is anything you have done or said that makes him ignore you. Let him know that if that is the case, you would like to know exactly what you said or did so that you can apologize. Talk to him in a very friendly manner, and try your best not to appear defensive. If he says that you said something that made him feel bad, and maybe you do not remember, ask him politely to remind you. Do not be afraid to ask him if there is another woman in the picture, it is better to know and figure out way forward than when you do not know. If there is another woman, it may take a while, but eventually you will just know. Find a way to have a candid conversation with your man and create a better relationship for both of you.

Therapy

There is a chance that your man is not giving you the attention that you deserve because he is going through some personal issues that you cannot get him to talk about. He could be stressed at work, not happy with where he is in life, have an ex-girlfriend who cannot let him go, or have a business deal that didn’t go well. There could be many reasons. Suggest to your man that you should both go for therapy, and if he accepts, involve him in the process of choosing one. You may be surprised that it was never about you, he just needed to deal with his own issues.

Check how you Treat Him

Sometimes, we may say or do things that hurt our man’s feelings without knowing. Your man might take what you say as a joke too seriously, so it would be better for him to just ignore it. If you notice that your man is not paying attention to you, check on how you treat him and think about how you handle him, especially in public. How do you welcome him when he comes home? Do you compare him with other people, for instance, by saying things like, ‘My best friend’s boyfriend bought her a new car, when are you buying me one?’ Do you say thank you when he buys you a gift, and do you say thank you like you mean it? How often do you ask how he is doing? Men are humans too, and they do appreciate gifts presented to them with love. You expect gifts and special treatment on your birthday, do you do the same for him? Check how you treat your man, if he is not paying attention to you, you could be the problem.

Focus on Yourself

Your man is not paying attention to you because you have probably neglected yourself. You are not the same girl he fell in love with. You do not make your hair nicely any more, you do not care how you dress, wearing nice cologne is no longer your priority, you stay in your pajamas the whole day, and this is kinder annoying and more discouraging to him. He wants to see you taking care of yourself and looking beautiful for him. Wait, do not get me wrong. I know there is what we call natural beauty, but if you do not even brush your teeth, what do you want him to do? You go grocery shopping with a bonnet on your head, you are embarrassing this guy. He loves you, he does not want to break up with you, but not giving you attention is helping for now. Hopefully, you will realize what you are doing and up your game. He needs the queen he fell in love with, not the neglected version of you.

Get a Job

Please feel free to try this in real life. Stay at home and never go to work. Ask your man for everything, from food to rent to groceries to pads to school fees, literally everything, for six months and see what happens. In the following six months, get yourself a job, share bills, go out on a romantic dinner and pay part of the bill, let him come home to a delicious dinner that he did not buy, buy him a new phone, buy some gas, and go on a road trip together. Be involved and plan your finances together. What do you think will happen if you depend on your man for everything, as opposed to when you are financially independent? Unless the man makes a lot of money and requests that you stay home and take care of the family, you are going to experience some problems, and one of them is that he stops paying attention to you. I mean, you are too much, and he needs help or a break from you. Remember, he is human too.

Go on vacation together

Your man may stop giving you attention because he is tired. If he is working as a doctor, lawyer, or construction worker, and in some of those careers where they work all the time, he can get so tired, some people get stressed, and some people suffer from anxiety, and this is projected in his actions towards you. He probably needs a break from everything and wants to go somewhere and relax. Consider planning a vacation for both of you, stay for the time that you can afford, keep phones away, and just relax. Spend more time together and build a stronger connection between the two of you.

Travel

Sometimes we spend so much time together that we take each other for granted. Your man could stop paying attention to you because he knows you are there, you are not going anywhere, so no big deal. Take time out and travel sister. Go away on holiday with your girlfriends, go visit your parents, go camping, or go wherever you want. Give your man some time to miss you, and when you return, he will start paying attention to you. Maybe he just needs a break and an opportunity to experience life without you for a short while. Let him wake up in the morning to an empty bed, no breakfast, laundry not done, nobody to talk to, and he will start thinking about you if he is still in love with you.

Special Treatment

One potential solution to regain your man’s attention is to lavish him with special treatment. Come up with a surprise party for him, not to celebrate his birthday but just to appreciate him. Bring him breakfast in bed and see how he reacts to that. For the longest time, men have been the ones who give their women special treatment, and let me tell you, any human being will feel truly loved if their partner does something special for him. He is not paying attention to you because he thinks that you don’t care about him. Show your man some love and see your relationship flourish. Let him know that he is indeed your king, and there is no one else but him.

Faith

You have tried everything we have talked about above, but nothing seems to work. You treat him well, you take care of his home, you prepare delicious meals for him, you help with bills, and you surprise him once in a while, but nothing seems to work, the man refuses to pay attention to you. What is left at this point is your faith. If you are a Christian, you will turn to the Bible and pray that your man finds you attractive and pays attention to you. If you are in other religions, just go down on your knees and pray. Only God can save you now, and as you turn to God and ask for help, listen keenly, God may just ask you to leave the relationship.

Walk Away

Mhh, you can only do so much. You have done everything within your power to get your man’s attention, but he still does not pay attention to you. Please, sis, walk away. You are way too beautiful to lose yourself because of a man who does not care about you. Give time sometime, and the right man will find you at God’s given time.

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