Life With Carol

Handling the Finance Topic in Marriage

Take the risk and be financially open with each other. Be open and let your partner see your financial life. By opening up, you will get to know them, if they are a scatterer or a gatherer, you will get to see what they are made of. It is easier to hide, be secretive, and be more instinctive, to keep your things licked away, but you will never measure as a team if this happens. If you don’t unite in money matters, you won’t unite in life. Money answers everything. Harmonize your financial philosophy. People develop financial philosophies from their families and how they witnessed the issue of money being handled. You breath it in until it soaks. For instance, those people who witnessed their parents transition from grace to grass may have a financial trauma, even of hoarding money. Align what you believe about money and your relationship with money with theirs. Discuss it until you can find an agreeable approach. Learn to flow with money, not to fight with it. When you know what you are good at and you perfect it, then your financial crisis will usually and only be a small interruption. There are two philosophies about money, to hoard it to be safe or to earn it to be safe. You may be coming from opposite ends because of what you witnessed, but this is a reminder that you are not doomed to live like your parents. But if you don’t heal, you are doomed. Those who don’t understand history are condemned to repeat it. Money is vapor, it’s your mindset that is the stabilizer. How you think about money is what will make it stay or go. your discipline not to buy everything you see, to show up at work on time, to convert that next client, to make sure you buy and sell at the best price, to watch the market and import when it is timely, and to convert the dollar when it’s advantageous. Have regularmeetings where you discuss financial decisions and directions so that you arrive at your family policies.

What to do if Your Man Does not give you Attention

The beginning of any relationship is always the best when we both feel so strongly about each other. We fall in love, we get comfortable with each other, and we start taking our partner for granted. As a result, our partner stops paying attention to us. In this blog, we talk about what you can do if your man does not give you attention. To be honest, if my man stops paying attention to me, the first thought that gets to my mind is the possibility that he could be seeing someone else, even though that may not always be the case. I have compiled ten points about the things that you can do to hopefully get your man’s attention. Communicate If your man does not give you attention, try to communicate and ask him what he wants. Request a dinner out, and when you are both calm and comfortable, have a conversation with him. Ask him if there is anything you have done or said that makes him ignore you. Let him know that if that is the case, you would like to know exactly what you said or did so that you can apologize. Talk to him in a very friendly manner, and try your best not to appear defensive. If he says that you said something that made him feel bad, and maybe you do not remember, ask him politely to remind you. Do not be afraid to ask him if there is another woman in the picture, it is better to know and figure out way forward than when you do not know. If there is another woman, it may take a while, but eventually you will just know. Find a way to have a candid conversation with your man and create a better relationship for both of you. Therapy There is a chance that your man is not giving you the attention that you deserve because he is going through some personal issues that you cannot get him to talk about. He could be stressed at work, not happy with where he is in life, have an ex-girlfriend who cannot let him go, or have a business deal that didn’t go well. There could be many reasons. Suggest to your man that you should both go for therapy, and if he accepts, involve him in the process of choosing one. You may be surprised that it was never about you, he just needed to deal with his own issues. Check how you Treat Him Sometimes, we may say or do things that hurt our man’s feelings without knowing. Your man might take what you say as a joke too seriously, so it would be better for him to just ignore it. If you notice that your man is not paying attention to you, check on how you treat him and think about how you handle him, especially in public. How do you welcome him when he comes home? Do you compare him with other people, for instance, by saying things like, ‘My best friend’s boyfriend bought her a new car, when are you buying me one?’ Do you say thank you when he buys you a gift, and do you say thank you like you mean it? How often do you ask how he is doing? Men are humans too, and they do appreciate gifts presented to them with love. You expect gifts and special treatment on your birthday, do you do the same for him? Check how you treat your man, if he is not paying attention to you, you could be the problem. Focus on Yourself Your man is not paying attention to you because you have probably neglected yourself. You are not the same girl he fell in love with. You do not make your hair nicely any more, you do not care how you dress, wearing nice cologne is no longer your priority, you stay in your pajamas the whole day, and this is kinder annoying and more discouraging to him. He wants to see you taking care of yourself and looking beautiful for him. Wait, do not get me wrong. I know there is what we call natural beauty, but if you do not even brush your teeth, what do you want him to do? You go grocery shopping with a bonnet on your head, you are embarrassing this guy. He loves you, he does not want to break up with you, but not giving you attention is helping for now. Hopefully, you will realize what you are doing and up your game. He needs the queen he fell in love with, not the neglected version of you. Get a Job Please feel free to try this in real life. Stay at home and never go to work. Ask your man for everything, from food to rent to groceries to pads to school fees, literally everything, for six months and see what happens. In the following six months, get yourself a job, share bills, go out on a romantic dinner and pay part of the bill, let him come home to a delicious dinner that he did not buy, buy him a new phone, buy some gas, and go on a road trip together. Be involved and plan your finances together. What do you think will happen if you depend on your man for everything, as opposed to when you are financially independent? Unless the man makes a lot of money and requests that you stay home and take care of the family, you are going to experience some problems, and one of them is that he stops paying attention to you. I mean, you are too much, and he needs help or a break from you. Remember, he is human too. Go on vacation together Your man may stop giving you attention because he is tired. If he is working as a doctor, lawyer, or construction worker, and in some of those careers where they work all the

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