Life With Carol

What to do if Your Man Does not give you Attention

The beginning of any relationship is always the best when we both feel so strongly about each other. We fall in love, we get comfortable with each other, and we start taking our partner for granted. As a result, our partner stops paying attention to us. In this blog, we talk about what you can do if your man does not give you attention. To be honest, if my man stops paying attention to me, the first thought that gets to my mind is the possibility that he could be seeing someone else, even though that may not always be the case. I have compiled ten points about the things that you can do to hopefully get your man’s attention. Communicate If your man does not give you attention, try to communicate and ask him what he wants. Request a dinner out, and when you are both calm and comfortable, have a conversation with him. Ask him if there is anything you have done or said that makes him ignore you. Let him know that if that is the case, you would like to know exactly what you said or did so that you can apologize. Talk to him in a very friendly manner, and try your best not to appear defensive. If he says that you said something that made him feel bad, and maybe you do not remember, ask him politely to remind you. Do not be afraid to ask him if there is another woman in the picture, it is better to know and figure out way forward than when you do not know. If there is another woman, it may take a while, but eventually you will just know. Find a way to have a candid conversation with your man and create a better relationship for both of you. Therapy There is a chance that your man is not giving you the attention that you deserve because he is going through some personal issues that you cannot get him to talk about. He could be stressed at work, not happy with where he is in life, have an ex-girlfriend who cannot let him go, or have a business deal that didn’t go well. There could be many reasons. Suggest to your man that you should both go for therapy, and if he accepts, involve him in the process of choosing one. You may be surprised that it was never about you, he just needed to deal with his own issues. Check how you Treat Him Sometimes, we may say or do things that hurt our man’s feelings without knowing. Your man might take what you say as a joke too seriously, so it would be better for him to just ignore it. If you notice that your man is not paying attention to you, check on how you treat him and think about how you handle him, especially in public. How do you welcome him when he comes home? Do you compare him with other people, for instance, by saying things like, ‘My best friend’s boyfriend bought her a new car, when are you buying me one?’ Do you say thank you when he buys you a gift, and do you say thank you like you mean it? How often do you ask how he is doing? Men are humans too, and they do appreciate gifts presented to them with love. You expect gifts and special treatment on your birthday, do you do the same for him? Check how you treat your man, if he is not paying attention to you, you could be the problem. Focus on Yourself Your man is not paying attention to you because you have probably neglected yourself. You are not the same girl he fell in love with. You do not make your hair nicely any more, you do not care how you dress, wearing nice cologne is no longer your priority, you stay in your pajamas the whole day, and this is kinder annoying and more discouraging to him. He wants to see you taking care of yourself and looking beautiful for him. Wait, do not get me wrong. I know there is what we call natural beauty, but if you do not even brush your teeth, what do you want him to do? You go grocery shopping with a bonnet on your head, you are embarrassing this guy. He loves you, he does not want to break up with you, but not giving you attention is helping for now. Hopefully, you will realize what you are doing and up your game. He needs the queen he fell in love with, not the neglected version of you. Get a Job Please feel free to try this in real life. Stay at home and never go to work. Ask your man for everything, from food to rent to groceries to pads to school fees, literally everything, for six months and see what happens. In the following six months, get yourself a job, share bills, go out on a romantic dinner and pay part of the bill, let him come home to a delicious dinner that he did not buy, buy him a new phone, buy some gas, and go on a road trip together. Be involved and plan your finances together. What do you think will happen if you depend on your man for everything, as opposed to when you are financially independent? Unless the man makes a lot of money and requests that you stay home and take care of the family, you are going to experience some problems, and one of them is that he stops paying attention to you. I mean, you are too much, and he needs help or a break from you. Remember, he is human too. Go on vacation together Your man may stop giving you attention because he is tired. If he is working as a doctor, lawyer, or construction worker, and in some of those careers where they work all the

11 Things a Man Should Do in a Relationship

In this blog, I feel inspired to discuss the five basic things a man should do in a relationship.  The Couple  Let’s travel back in time to how it was back then. The man is the head of the family, and he still is today. As the head of the family, he is responsible for all the financial aspects of the family. A man goes to work and provides for his family. The woman was supposed to take care of the home and family. As teenagers, girls were taught how to take care of their husbands, from cooking to cleaning the house, buying groceries, and being good wives. Therefore, the girl child was always prepared for marriage as soon as she turned eighteen. Girls got married very early, and marriages were supposed to last forever. So when a man and a woman get together, they already know their roles and what is expected of them. However, things have changed over the years, and the cost of living is extremely high, making it impossible for families to live on one income. Because of the financial implications, the woman has to go out, work, and help support the family. Now this is where we start to think about equality, where both the man and the woman go out to work. So let’s dive deeper into what the man should do in the relationship:  Pay Bills  The man should pay the bills, especially the major ones like rent or mortgage. As the family head, he should always ensure that his wife and children have a decent and secure place to live. When looking for a place to call home, he should allow his wife to choose their home, and he should take care of the rent or mortgage. I am not saying that the woman should go looking for the most expensive house; the house should be within the family budget. The man should also speak, especially if he feels he is being pressured. The smaller bills can be negotiated between the couple, and the lady should take up the smaller bills. But the question you may ask is, ‘What if the lady earns more money than him? Well, that’s a story for another day!  Clean the house  Cleaning a house is not hard but is also not easy, depending on how big the house is and the ages of the children. If the children are younger, it means that there is much more to be done as opposed to when they are older. The man should help out with cleaning the house, especially the high-function areas like the bathrooms and the kitchen.  Manage Garbage  Women do not like to handle garbage and would rather let someone else do it. Any man should understand this and make sure that the garbage is always taken out at the time when it is supposed to be taken out. Depending on the size of the family, the garbage could be heavy, so, as a man, take responsibility and just take the garbage out.  Maintain the cars  The man should maintain the cars; for instance, he should wash the cars, and if he cannot wash the cars, get someone else to wash them. Imagine a man being at home and his wife struggling to wash her car; it does not look nice and is too much work for the woman. Washing a car is an easy task for men because they are stronger and can get it all done in a short period.  Fill her tank weekly  A man should not let his woman drive into the gas station for gas; it should be his responsibility. He can choose a day, for example, a Sunday, and make sure that he fills her tank.  Breakfast on Bed  At least once every week, on the day that your wife is not going to work, surprise her with breakfast in bed. You have lived with your wife for some time, and you know what she likes. Prepare her favorite breakfast and serve it to her. Any woman in her right senses would love the experience of breakfast in bed from the man that she loves.  Take her on a picnic  Take your wife out on a picnic, spend time together, eat, drink, and enjoy spending time together.  Talk Less  Women tend to talk a lot, and a man, for his own peace, should learn to be a good listener.  Sometimes, we do not really need a response, but just a listening ear.  Try to understand her point of view, and let her know that you support her.  Do not argue with your wife; you will hurt her feelings and spoil her day.  Be Present in the Delivery Room  The day your wife is going to deliver your child, make sure you are present from the onset of labor until your child is born.  Every woman needs that kind of support from her man.  Take days off work early enough to make sure that you will be available for your child’s birth.  Drive  When travelling with your wife in your personal car, be kind enough to drive the car unless she offers to drive.  However, most of the time, take the lead and drive the car to your destination.  Take Her Calls  Whenever your wife calls you, make sure you receive her calls.  If she sends a text message, respond as soon as possible.  Make her calls and text messages your number one priority.

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